Man Porn: Benedict Cumberbatch & the Cumberpeople

After reading Caitlin Moran’s interview with Benedict Cumberbatch, I suddenly had a change of heart about the actor. Up until now I’ve always acknowledged him to be a decent actor – brilliant in fact – but as someone who’s only made it through two episodes of Sherlock (it’s alright) I’ve never been part of, what tumblr calls, the Cumberbitches.

However, reading this interview, I’ve started to see what all the fuss is about. For one thing, he’s deliciously posh, and for another his mum likes to yell at interviews to ‘FIND MY SON A BIRD!’ I also fully support any family that decks their house in owl statues and clocks that tell the time through British avian staples – ‘It’s half-past chaffinch!’

Yet it’s Cumberbatch’s treatment of his fans that has really won me over.

“It’s not even politeness. I won’t allow you to be my bitches. I think it sets feminism back so many notches. You are… Cumberpeople.”

BENEDICT’S A FEMINIST!

Not only a feminist but, according to Moran, a bloody decent dancer to boot! There aren’t many times when I admit I’m wrong, but when it comes to Cumberbatch, I can’t help but feel I missed out on the bandwagon to slather over his perfectly carved bone structure.

And those eyes… they’re just so… PIERCING!

It’s only a shame he hasn’t, in true Man Porn style, got his penis out in his career. Of course, if he had got his penis out, then no doubt there would already be a blog dedicated to it. This is, after all, the internet.

Still, to honour Cumberbatch I shall make an exception, and induct him into the Man Porn hall of fame without the need to gander at his privates. He is a classy man.

Instead let’s objectify the more refined aspects of his person, such as:

His face!

His eyes!

His eyes!

BC-piercing

His mouth!

His mouth!

BC-Mouth-close

His posh clothes! Like a modern Mr. Darcy...

His posh clothes! Like a modern Mr. Darcy…

His hair!

His hair!

BC-floppy

His kinda gingery hair!

His kinda gingery hair!

And his... sideburns?

And his… sideburns?

And let’s not forget about those love scenes… so many love scenes… so hot…

And the love scenes that have yet to be…

BC-sex-tension

Keep on trucking you Cumberpeople, keep trucking on… <3

I do not own any of these images, but all the perverse scribbling is all on me. 

7 thoughts on “Man Porn: Benedict Cumberbatch & the Cumberpeople

  1. He’s a darling man. Caitlin Moran said in a tweet that he’s the loveliest man thats ever lived. Thats good enough for me. Actually Ive seen him nude on stage in Frankenstein. He has a great physique. At the moment he;s starved himself right down for Sherlock and is even skinnier than normal so I’m wondering if they are going to focus on drug addiction in the last episode.

  2. Cumberpeople. I like it! And I think they should start making all the Belstaff jackets etc more acceptable to wear (that are worn in the show) because they are so cool.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s